How Social Anxiety Can Impact Your Self-Care: And What You Can Do About It
Social anxiety is a tricky thing. It’s not just about feeling shy or nervous in social situations; it’s deeper than that. It can feel like constantly worrying about being judged, criticized, or rejected—even when you’re not around people. And one area where social anxiety shows up is in how we take care of ourselves.
You’ve probably heard a lot about self-care lately. It’s a popular buzzword, and everyone seems to have advice on practicing it—whether it’s about taking bubble baths, meditating, or hitting the gym. But when you’re dealing with social anxiety, self-care can feel more like a challenge than a treat. So, let’s talk about how social anxiety can affect your ability to take care of yourself and how online therapy and working with a licensed professional counselor can help.
Social Anxiety and the Fear of Judgment
One of the biggest struggles with social anxiety is the constant fear of judgment. You might think, "What will people think if I don’t do this right?" or "Will they think I’m awkward?" This fear can seep into even the most basic self-care activities.
Take exercise, for example. You know it’s good for you—both physically and mentally—but the idea of walking into a crowded gym, or even going for a run in your neighborhood, might fill you with dread. You’re not just thinking about the workout; you’re worried about being watched or judged. And let’s not even get started on group classes! (By the way, if you're wondering if this anxiety also relates to other mental health experiences like trauma - it sure does!)
This fear can also impact other aspects of self-care, like going to a hairdresser or getting a massage. These should be relaxing activities, but when you have social anxiety, they can feel overwhelming. Thinking of interacting with someone one-on-one, even for a short time, can be stressful.
Perfectionism and Self-Care
Another way social anxiety affects self-care is through perfectionism. When you have social anxiety, you might feel like everything you do has to be perfect. And if it’s not perfect, it’s not worth doing. This can apply to things like keeping a skincare routine, journaling, or even meditating. Instead of relaxing and enjoying the process, you end up putting pressure on yourself to get it "right."
This mindset can turn self-care into yet another stressor. The goal of self-care is to feel better, but when perfectionism is in the mix, you’re left feeling like you’re not doing enough. And sometimes, that can lead to skipping self-care altogether because it feels like too much pressure.
Avoiding Social Situations (And Missing Out on Support)
Social anxiety can also lead to isolation, which can interfere with your ability to take care of yourself. Self-care isn’t always something you do alone. Sometimes, it involves asking for help or seeking support from others. But when social anxiety is in the driver’s seat, you might avoid reaching out to friends or family when you need them.
Even activities that are supposed to be fun, like going out with friends or joining a new group, can feel overwhelming. So, you stay home, telling yourself it’s a form of self-care when really, you might be missing out on meaningful connections and support. It’s a tricky balance—especially when your anxiety is telling you that staying isolated is safer.
How Online Therapy Can Help
Here’s the good news: you don’t have to navigate social anxiety alone. One of the best ways to manage social anxiety and improve your self-care is by talking to someone who gets it—like a licensed professional counselor. And thanks to modern technology, you don’t even have to leave your house to do that.
Online therapy has become an incredibly popular and accessible way to get help. For people with social anxiety, it’s especially helpful because it eliminates some of the barriers that might make in-person therapy feel daunting. You don’t have to worry about sitting in a waiting room or making small talk with a receptionist. Instead, you can connect with a counselor from the comfort of your own space, whether that’s over video chat, phone, or even text.
Why a Licensed Professional Counselor Matters
When dealing with social anxiety, it’s important to work with a mental health professional who knows what they’re doing. A licensed professional counselor is trained to help you understand your anxiety, identify the patterns that are keeping you stuck, and develop strategies to cope. They can also help you work on the perfectionism that often comes with social anxiety, teaching you how to be kinder and more forgiving of yourself when it comes to self-care.
A counselor can also guide you in setting healthy boundaries, something that people with social anxiety often struggle with. Setting boundaries—whether it’s saying no to an event that feels too overwhelming or making time for self-care without feeling guilty—is an important part of managing anxiety and maintaining your mental health.
Small Steps Toward Better Self-Care
If you’re dealing with social anxiety and finding self-care difficult, it’s important to remember that small steps count. Here are a few ideas to start with:
Create a Safe Space for Self-Care: If going out feels too overwhelming, start by creating a calming self-care routine at home. Whether it’s a skincare ritual, a relaxing bath, or a quiet moment with a good book, make sure it’s something that feels good to you.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: That inner voice telling you that people are judging you or that you’re not doing enough? Start questioning it. Ask yourself, “Is this really true, or is it just my anxiety talking?”
Seek Support Through Online Therapy: If social anxiety is getting in the way of your self-care, consider reaching out to a licensed professional counselor through online therapy. You can work on managing your anxiety from the comfort of your home, and it can be a huge step toward feeling more in control of your self-care.
Be Gentle with Yourself: Self-care doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s okay to start small and to mess up. The most important thing is that you’re making an effort to take care of yourself in whatever way works for you.
Final Thoughts
Social anxiety can make self-care feel like a challenge, but with the right tools and support, it’s possible to find balance. Whether that’s through online therapy with a licensed professional counselor or simply practicing being kinder to yourself, small steps toward self-care can make a big difference. Remember, self-care isn’t about being perfect; it’s about finding ways to nurture yourself, even in the face of anxiety.
Cristen Smith is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania. To email her for consultation or questions with mental health go here.