why we leave our bodies — and how to gently come back
In times of stress, anxiety, or overwhelm, many of us have a natural habit of “leaving” our bodies. Maybe we disconnect, feel numb, or simply can’t focus on the present moment. While this experience can be unsettling, it’s actually a normal response, and from a somatic experiencing perspective, it’s one of our body’s ways of protecting us.
Dissociation or “leaving” our bodies happens when our nervous system senses too much for us to process at once, often in response to anxiety, trauma, or simply the pressures of daily life. In these moments, our body’s instinct is to create a buffer—to step back to keep us safe. In this blog, we’ll explore why this habit forms, how it connects to our mental health, and simple ways to gently return to a sense of embodied presence.
Why We Leave Our Bodies
The nervous system has built-in responses for managing high levels of stress, and sometimes that includes distancing us from difficult experiences. When we experience overwhelming sensations, intense anxiety, or emotions that feel too big, our body may “check out” to avoid the discomfort. This response is often unconscious and can become a habit when we experience frequent stress or trauma.
From the perspective of somatic experiencing, leaving our bodies can also be a reaction to poor boundaries or to our environment becoming too stimulating. If we’ve felt that others’ needs or expectations overwhelm us, we might learn to dissociate as a way of coping, giving ourselves “space” when none is available. Leaving the body can become a mental health coping tool—one we may not realize we’re using.
The Role of Anxiety and Mental Health in Disconnection
Anxiety can be a major factor in our habit of leaving our bodies. Anxiety often sends us into “fight or flight” mode, which can make it difficult to stay grounded. When anxiety peaks, our nervous system ramps up to prepare us for potential threats, but if we can’t find a physical way to resolve that energy, it may lead us to dissociate. This distancing is often our mind and body’s attempt to protect us from overwhelming feelings.
The challenge comes when this habit of disconnection interferes with our mental health. Frequent dissociation can sometimes amplify feelings of anxiety, detachment, or even depression, creating a loop of disconnection and unease. It’s important to know that while this response may feel uncomfortable, it’s our body’s way of managing what it perceives as too much. Understanding that dissociation is a natural response allows us to meet it with compassion rather than frustration.
Reconnecting through Boundaries and Embodied Awareness
One of the key ways to stay connected to our bodies and reduce dissociation is to create healthy boundaries with our environment and the demands we place on ourselves. Boundaries are not only physical but emotional and mental, too. Boundaries can protect our mental health by helping us conserve energy, regulate our responses to others, and avoid unnecessary overwhelm.
Setting boundaries might include:
Giving ourselves permission to say “no” to activities, interactions, or commitments that drain us.
Creating small breaks during the day to check in with ourselves and give the body space to process stress.
Using self-care rituals like taking time to walk, move, or be still, allowing the nervous system to reset and release accumulated tension.
Each boundary we create signals to our body that it’s safe to stay present. It reminds us that we don’t have to take on more than we can handle. Boundaries are essential for maintaining the kind of safety that lets us feel grounded, secure, and connected to ourselves.
Tools for Reclaiming Our Sense of Embodiment
Reclaiming a sense of presence doesn’t happen all at once—it’s a gradual process. Somatic experiencing encourages us to take small steps, honoring our body’s natural rhythms and respecting where we are on any given day. Here are a few gentle ways to come back to your body when you feel disconnected:
Orienting to the Present Moment
Look around and name five things you see, three things you hear, and one thing you can touch. This simple exercise helps the nervous system register the present moment, reminding you that you are here and safe.
Practicing Sensory Awareness
Notice the physical sensations that come with breathing or feeling your feet on the floor. Connecting to these sensations helps you reestablish an awareness of your body and your surroundings, slowly guiding you back into presence.
Creating Safe Spaces for Emotions
Emotions like anxiety can sometimes trigger disconnection. When difficult feelings arise, try to observe them gently without judgment. You might place a hand on your heart and acknowledge, “This is hard, and it’s okay.” Allowing yourself to feel while maintaining safe boundaries can reduce the habit of “checking out.”
Incorporating Movement
Small movements, such as stretching, shaking out your hands, or even gently rocking, can release stored energy and help bring awareness to your body. The movement reminds your mind and body that you are in a safe space.
Therapy as a Supportive Tool
Working with a therapist trained in somatic experiencing can offer a guided path to reestablishing a connection with the body. Therapy provides a safe environment to explore the reasons behind disconnection, set boundaries, and practice gentle ways of staying present.
Making Peace with the Process
The habit of leaving our bodies is often a well-learned survival skill. It’s important to recognize and honor this part of yourself rather than trying to “fix” it or get rid of it. Approaching your body with curiosity, patience, and compassion is essential for creating a foundation of safety within.
If you find yourself struggling to stay connected, remember that it’s okay to be where you are. Healing is a process and each small step counts. Building a new relationship with your body—one that feels safe, empowering, and grounded—may take time, but it is entirely possible. By setting boundaries, engaging in gentle sensory practices, and seeking support if needed, you can reconnect with yourself in a way that supports both your mental health and your overall well-being.
Returning to the body isn’t about perfection or forcing presence; it’s about offering yourself a safe, kind, and nurturing space to be as you are.